you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Also, beer. Big fan.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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