wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
