just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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