Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
