I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
