No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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