i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Randomize
