If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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