I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
