how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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