So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
