I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
