I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
