So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
