He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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