Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
