Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
