My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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