went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
