All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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