I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
