Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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