why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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