How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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