put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
