He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
