oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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