This is not my ceiling
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
this hospital has no fireball
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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