guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
