Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
