we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
