Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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