the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
