Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
