Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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