I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
