Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
this just has baby written all over it
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
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i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
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You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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