I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
