I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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