i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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