Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
