I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
