do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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