Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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