I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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