Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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