You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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