you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.