sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.