I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires