I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
Pick me up at 9.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.