Is it because I queefed?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize