well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.