Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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