We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just want to make out with him forever
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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