Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
