omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize