We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize