I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
