why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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