My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I think my fart just growled at me.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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