Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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