Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
