how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
