I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
