so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
